When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire
I went on a date last year and jokingly said “Don’t ask me I’m just a girl” and giggled at a 35 year old man thinking he’d get the reference and instead he said “that’s what I like to hear.”
I was going to reblog again anyway, but I do it also for the above comment.
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Probablythe best 6 seconds ever.
i fucking lost it
OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN HIS FACE WAS ONE OF PURE TERROR OHMYGOD
don’t date anyone who doesn’t ask you about your childhood and why you are the way that you are
don’t date anyone who won’t work to understand and accept those things
my dad is a senior software engineer at Google
this is his work laptop
he takes it to company meetings
I’ve been told he has received many compliments
did you read the post
everything good makes you fat an addict or broke
why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars
There was a four year old named Hermione at my work today. It’s started.
it has begun
The Potter generation is growing up.
AND GETTIN’ BIZAY
sometimes all u can say is “yikes” and just move tf on lol
so one time when i was in 8th grade my school went on a camping trip at this camp and at night we all went around the campfire and told stories
and one of the instructors pointed up at the hill where a bunch of deer had gathered. he explained that baby deer make certain noises to call their mothers over. he said if we were really quiet we could hear them
suddenly this huge black guy came out from the forest and yelled YO MAMA WHERE YOU AT
I AM DYING OH MY GOD
once in the 4th grade this guy got a 2% on his math quiz so everyone called him milk for the rest of the year
my dad just yelled up the stairs “CHLOE DID YOU KNOW THE WEATHERMAN WAS GAY I DIDNT KNOW HE WAS GAY HE JUST GOT MARRIED TO HIS BOYFRIEND” and i was like which weatheman are we talking about here and he said “THE BLONDE ONE WITH THE SHARP HAIR CUT AND THE TIGHT PECS AND THE HOT ASS BODY” dad is there something you want to tell me
u ever text someone something risky and every second that they dont respond is another spike in ur blood pressure and u stare at your hand like why did u type that u fool its over the universe is crumbling to pieces this is my demise
How to do human transmutation
Step 1: RECONSIDER
Step 2: DON’T
i wish i was friends with someone in my neighborhood so i could randomly call them up and be like ‘yo i know its 3am but do you wanna walk around aimlessly for a little while’
Do you think this is a god damn movie? My best friend lives 20 feet from me and I haven’t seen her in 3 weeks.